TCNJ

24 The College of New Jersey Magazine { B O O K E X C E R P T } BLACK LIFE AND THE DEAD DEER Somebody — and I know exactly who he is and where he lives — has dragged a dead deer more than 100 yards from where it was discovered and deposited it behind my house. My son, Langston, is home from his third year at college, and he wants to confront the neighbor. I ask him not to. I beg him not to. The man is white. We are black. This smells like trouble. So we brace ourselves for the ghastly job of dragging the carcass to the street where the city will dispose of it. We have already called. They will pick it up soon — but not if it's on someone's property. The neighbor probably knows this but looking at the slope and distance to my yard versus the street, he chooses us. He is probably watching everything from his window and so he will see Langston and me dragging the carcass to the street. We will clean up his mess. We will not confront him. Who knows if he has a gun. Don't all white men standing behind closed doors have guns? [My son] thinks my worries are overstated, but he is wrong: Black men are being shot every day for less, and I am sure as hell not going to let him die because some fool white man has decided to dump a dead deer in my backyard. —Winnifred Brown-Glaude Gay Each of you shared a secret, which requires a lot of vulnerability. Wanting to buy a gun for protection, especially in a world where black bodies are all too often the target of guns, is a really difficult thing. I was really interested that you were able to bring that to the group to talk about and wrap your mind around gun ownership, not only as a human being but as a black woman. I'd love for you to talk more about that. Brown-Glaude A lot of it has to do with having to even think about it. It angers me that I have to do that. I just want to be able to just live and just be. I grew up with a gun in my house. My husband is from Mississippi; he grew up with a gun in the house. For me, it's not just the gun ownership, it's because I don't feel safe because of all that's going on. "I want people to recognize that Toni Morrison has something for you too," says Jackson, eager to dispel the myth that the Pulitzer prize-winner's work is highbrow. Gay It's incredibly frustrating especially in a country that always tells us that we're safe and we are always going to be protected. That's not the case, it's rarely the case. Brown-Glaude Despite the evidence that we're not safe, they're still telling us that you can trust the police. We'll take care of you. No, the evidence doesn't suggest that. So just be honest with me. Gay What other ways do you think this world is not honest with us? Williams It's not honest about our past, about lynching, racial violence, terror- ism, slavery as the economic foundation of the country, and evangelicals as really motivated by race. Jackson If anything, Morrison's legacy was definitely speaking those difficult

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