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21 FALL 2019 PHOTO COURTESY OF ALHADEFF FAMILY died. They said, "No, you can't see her." They came back with an 8-by-10 color photo of Alyssa's face. It was at that point that I knew with 100% certainty Alyssa had died. I had to sign paperwork to release her body to the funeral home. That's where my husband and I got to see Alyssa. I remember taking my hand and trying to warm her body, trying to bring her back to life. I remember looking at all the places she was shot. Before I left, I cut off a piece of Alyssa's hair. She had really wild, beautiful black hair. I felt like I didn't want the shooter to take everything from me. They set up a memorial at Pine Trails Park in Parkland, with little crosses and Stars of David to represent the graves. When my husband and I drove there, we saw a line of reporters. I told my husband I had something to say. I asked the first reporter, and she tossed her hair at me and said she wasn't part of the line. I went down the line of reporters. Finally, a reporter from CNN handed me a microphone and he said, "You'll be on in 30 seconds." I was just really angry. I had no idea what I was going to say. I took the microphone and looked straight into the camera. I said, "President Trump, you say, 'What can you do?' You can stop a gun from getting into these children's hands! Put metal detectors at every entrance to the school! What can you do? You can do a lot! President Trump, please do something. Do something! Action! We need it now! These kids need safety now!" I called out President Trump because earlier that morning I read something about the president offering thoughts and prayers, that there's nothing we can do. I felt that it was his duty to act. Alyssa was really smart. She was going into Spanish 4 and was going to be taking calculus this year. She was a really creative writer. Plus, she was beautiful. She was the whole package. She was an all-American kid. 100 family members who could not find their loved ones. The FBI kept asking us, What is Alyssa wearing? What does she look like? We were just waiting and waiting and waiting. At one point I went to the bathroom and I just started screaming. About 10 o'clock at night I said to my rabbi, "We need to start planning funeral arrangements for Alyssa." The rabbi said, "No, have faith." I said, "No, we need to do this." About 2 o'clock in the morning, the FBI called my family into a private room. "We believe that Alyssa has been killed." The officer said he wanted to say something to my husband, but he didn't want to say it in front of me. I said, "No, you say what it is." Then he told us that Alyssa had been shot in the face and was unrecognizable. That turned out to be wrong. Alyssa was shot 10 times — on the top of the head, in the heart, her femoral artery, in the hand. Alyssa was in room 1216, the first classroom where shots were fired. She was shot through the glass door. She was sitting in front of the door, so she was directly in the line of fire. Alyssa was very vivacious, very outgoing. She always found a way to go to school, do her homework, go to soccer practice, and then go out with her friends. She lived a very full life. The next morning we drove an hour to the medical examiner's office. I told them I wanted to see Alyssa. I wanted to know with 100% certainty that Alyssa had fell to the ground and screamed. I got up and started running toward the school. An officer with a big gun stopped me. I said, "My daughter has been shot. What hospital would she be at?" She asked another officer to take me to the Marriott, where they were preparing a reunification center. The officer put me in the back of the police car. I can remember feeling like the victim. The seats were very cold, but the air around me was very hot. When we arrived at the Marriott, I was the first person there. I went inside. I tried calling different hospitals. Nobody was answering. A police officer drove me to a hospital, a half-hour away. We went to the emergency room, and I saw a girl in a room who looked like Alyssa. I started running toward her. I was thinking it was Alyssa, but it wasn't. Alyssa wasn't there. Alyssa started playing soccer at age 3 and travel soccer at age 8. I was a soccer player when I was growing up in New Jersey, so I kind of pushed it. Until we moved to Parkland five years ago, we lived in Woodcliff Lake, in Bergen County, and Alyssa played for the Arsenal Soccer Club. Her technical skills were outstanding. She played the center midfield position. On her jersey she wore number 8 — side- ways it's the infinity symbol. We went back to the Marriott. It was around 5 o'clock. My husband, Ilan, was there with my parents and his parents. Our rabbi was there. There were at least I

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